Feeling God's Presence

                                  "And He said, My presence will go with you,
                                   and I will give you rest."  -  Exodus 33:14


Monday morning. I was awaiting a phone call which could have a profound implication on the life of my adult son (who has autism). I could not wait for the phone to ring and get it over with. I was so nervous that even though it was just a phone interview, I thoroughly brushed my teeth and combed my hair, making sure that not a strand was out of place. It seemed to be taking forever for the phone to ring. By chance, I looked out the window. But it's not the flowers and the greenery in my front yard that met my eyes. It was something else. A tiny creature, resting on the exterior side of the window, its wings in wide expanse, so plain and simple - a white butterfly! Time stood still and every bit of my jittery nerves calmed down, my thoughts lost, farthest away from the anticipated call. I stood motionless. It was a moment to relish.

A white butterfly. It's not just an insect for me anymore. Lately, it's been my way of communicating with God, a symbol of reassurance and a calming presence. Just like most people, I worry about our daily lives, the economy, the political fighting in the capital, the direction that our country was going. Something has to change - and it has to start at the leadership in the White House. Anyone who reads this blog knows that I truly believe that there is one person who can and will bring the much needed shake-up in Washington, to reform our system and fight corruption - Sarah Palin. She has the the right combination of executive experience, the brave character and the right vision for America. But for the defenders of the status quo, Sarah Palin is a threat who needed to be vanquished, and try they did, in every conceivable, twisted, unimaginable way. She has the scars and bruises to prove her battles with them, yet she is still standing, prouder and stronger.

Back in April, I posted an article asking God, if it is His will for Governor Palin to be the next president of the United States of America, that He sends her a white butterfly. Privately, I prayed to Him to let me see one as well. I have no way of knowing if a white butterfly had been fluttering around the governor but on my end, every time the media baselessly attacked her, a white winged creature would be flying around me. When  they reported that her supporters are losing their patience waiting for her announcement on whether she'd run for president or not, a white butterfly showed up. And it was there, as I was feeling down when  the voters were quick to crown Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry as frontrunners, without so much as examining their records. Or when the blog Wonkette posted a disgusting article mocking her toddler with Down Syndrome, Trig. Or when a book, "The Rogue", came out with malicious, unfounded stories about her. Every time a lie was told about her, the white butterfly appeared. Every single time.

But that Monday morning, I believed that that white butterfly was meant for me. I walked up and touched it from my side of the window. It did not stir. I closed my eyes and felt a complete sense of peace wash over me. I could almost feel in my fingertips its soft and delicate wings, so light yet warm to my touch. I opened my eyes, and as if by cue, another white butterfly came and landed on the marigolds. It stayed there as if to allow my sight to bask in its simple and sheer beauty. In such a fragile creature, plain and unadorned,  I felt God's wondrous creation. I knew then that everything would be alright.

When the phone rang, I picked it up with a calm spirit. The man on the other end had a kind voice and was most helpful. The result of the interview was positive. My advocacy for my son had been successful.

A prayer and white butterflies. To believe is to see. I did.

Thank you, God.